Title: You can Amkey and Keycole, but I can't Jongkyung?
Genre: Crack, Angst
Pairing: One sided Jongkey, Jongkyung
Word Count: 3754 words
Summary: What happens when some great news get to a certain happy JongHyun and a not so happy Kibum.
Disclaimer: What is this? What am I suppose to do? Disclaim something? I mean, duh...of course I don't own them, if I did, I wouldn't be writing a fic, I'd be having fun with my possessions, and even more important....of course this didn't happen...if it did, the world would be a better place. OH, but I kinda do own the plot...excuse me, thank you, I could be killing, stealing or prostituting myself, but instead, I'm here writing, so at least, I take credit for my only possession~
Comments: Well, you guys and girls better be happy with this, because I wrote it once and lost it all, so I, after 5 days, found the strength to write it again. Damm the computer for this! Read my rant in the end, please…
Inspired by this not so lovely article:
"Actress Shin Se Kyung, showed special interest in SHINee.
When asked about which idol group she wants to meet on Entertainment Relay, she answered, “SHINee.”
Like the shy girl she is, she didn’t really expand on why, but who doesn’t want to meet SHINee?
Shin Se Kyung is currently filming a movie with Song Kang Ho and Chun Jung Myung."
And this http://community.livejournal.com/omonatheydidnt/4566852.html
Songs u might be interested in listening to while reading, I do recommend it:www.youtube.com/watch
a playlist for u all, just let it play
It could have started well...but...it didn't. Not when you get news on a perfect vacation of 4 days to the States, a perfect Concert, a perfect gift from a fan in a Toy Story bag given at the Airport and a perfect day after the concert. News about a certain...female whose names has been mentioned quite a few times by that...bandmate and the more it is heard, the more Kibum feels like heads will roll. It's hard for things to be good when that bandmate had the need to talk about her everytime he could and his illusion that muscles and no brain could win her over, noting that he was probably as tall as her, if not shorter. Really, if he didn't talk about her, there would be no problem in their relationship, but, jealousy is an evil player in the game of ...Love? Well, maybe just not yet. Before going on, how about we get back in details to the roots of the problem?
Sunday Morning, September 5th, 2010, L.A.
"HOLY MOLY" The scream was heard throughout the whole hotel room, hallway, and perhaps, even other floors. Whether it was of pleasure, disgust, surprise or pain, nobody really wanted to know, because they didn't want to be seen with that weirdo who was the source of the nice sound, which was a good representation for "Denigrating korean entertainers and population alike overseas? U R doing it rite." Of course our leader decided to step out and be...the leader, because that's how he always introduced himself as, right? It didn't matter that, at home, he was the one picked on or used and he would have to go outside and tell their sunbaes and other colleagues to search for a bit of respect, which at home, wasn't given, not that it was their fault, they were just more exposed to his...real self.
“Jonghyunah, what happened?”. Staring. That’s all he could do, because what he saw was beyond expectations. Jonghyun, if you still could call him that, was on the floor, rolling, having a nervous attack, looking like he was peeing, crying, cumming, pooing, sweating, leaking, all in once, but he was just screaming, really…Jinki likes making things bigger than they are, it’s a habit he got from his little friend down there…big…
“It’s..there, in the computer…look at the screen.” And so he did. “It’s about her?”. So he wasn’t like, being all negative about her or anything, it’s just, duh, of course it was about her, what more could make jjong act like a girl who got her vajayjay touched accidentally by the guy she has a crush on after swinging around during gym class?
She was pretty, hot, sexy, cute, smart, dedicated and a girl worth knowing…or so he heard, of course! “So, this doesn’t really mean she wants to meet you.”. As a matter of fact, jinki stared at him, but he couldn’t really tell what kind of answer would come out of those nostrils…erm, mouth. “Duh, NO! She is into US! Not the girl faces of course, but us, me and you…THE MEN!”
Minho seemed to have vanished from Jonghyun’s mind because at least he doesn’t need to act manly to prove himself manly since it’s freaking natural for him, but it’s Jonghyun, better not contradict him, that’s what the doctor told them. “Hm, but, then…are you even gonna meet her or something? It’s not like, we are gonna see her suddenly.” “Stop thinking so much, hyung…look at the goddess, she will give us the answer…” Now, for Jonghyun to call her a Goddess…Sorry, Gyuri, Jonghyun obviously wouldn’t know what a REAL Goddess is even if she bit his balls with her shiny golden teeth.
Taemin, the little piece of jailbait, oh so dangerous and forbidden…for only one more year, that is, was starting to get nervous and wonder why Mickey and Donald Duck would take so long in the room together…They are obviously good enough to quit and be a duo and get more money, and nobody would want them getting away, right? Minnie, Pluto and Dummie would be hurt…and fucking pissed…
“Hyung, what happened?” He didn’t really want to know, because, if what Onew saw was bad, imagine how Taemin would react when he sees a overly hysteric Jonghyun and a stupid and desperate Jinki who knows this is going to end up…like shit. He just pointed at the screen again, as Taemin approached them slowly, and read through the article. “Her? Again? What’s so special about her? I mean like seriously, she is not that pretty, I admit she is a nice and smart person, but you can’t possibly find her fabulous.” He was about to keep his beautiful description of reality, when Jonghyun had his arm around his shoulder and with his oh-so,-I-know-more-than-you’d-ever-be-ab
le-to,-that’s-why-you-call-me-hyung, smile. “Taemin, Taemin, oh my little and sweet Taemin.” Imagine him saying that while grabbing Taemin’s cheeks with his hand and making him have a fish face. “You are just jealous and it’s ok. You’re clearly not confident about yourself, so you are in denial. And you are right to do that, you stand no chance against the real man of the house.” One word, war.
“UMMA, JONGHYUN IS DOING PORN WITH SHIN SE KYUNG! THE ONE WHO THINKS SHE IS MORE FOXY THAN YOU.” Oh, yes, the sound of the heavy steps against the floor, such a sweet sweet revenge, like the little innocent child loves. “KIM JONGHYUN!”. He was pale for a second, then red the next, then yellow…and then a color not very definable, something in between blue and red, not quite purple, oh…no…it’s just Kibum strangling him. “Stop it Kibum, what’s up? I didn’t even do anything wrong, it was just…”. Ha, as if the almighty would let him finish. “I’ve seen the damm article, what’s your point? What is it about her all the time? We are not back in Korea yet, can’t you relax and just forget her or something. SHE’S NOT THE ONE FOR YOU.”
Jonghyun would take his shit any day of the week, maybe not Wednesday, it’s his day off, but he’d let him talk any other day of the week, but not today! “Why are you always controlling everything?” Taemin saw that as the line for him to leave silently, and have Jinki for himself and Minho for a while, they knew how to treat him right, oh yeah. “You ain’t got a reason to stop me all the freaking time, what is your problem? Why are you so protective? I never ever did anything wrong, I don’t even have any scandals, except for the crazy big boob girl who thinks she knows me…I don’t have any real scandal, like a certain Kibum with his Keycole and Amkey…even Keysica…I do have a Jongsica too, but you got the reasons…I try and try, but you are always the one being all over girls and being all scandalous…and nobody even cares, so you don’t even stop!”. Kibum was speechless, maybe it was because it was the truth, or just because he was shocked…Jonghyun has brain and eyes, and he’s been paying attention. “Jonghyun…what the FUCK? Are you thinking of me as a freaking player? Like, I’d be all over girls and eating them behind your back or something. FUCKING WEAR GLASSES!”
“HEY!” He could go on and he wanted, but someone stopped him. “Guys! It’s like our off day here in the U.S.A., let’s go to Roswell, I heard there are Aliens there…we can find the secret base and get in contact!”. Donghae, had to make his cameo, and totally call the mood off. “Hyung, let’s go, I’d better go off and search for aliens than stay with a monster.” Of course, hyungwhore would follow his hyungs all the way to the underworld if he had the opportunity to, so Jinki carried along and all 4 plus the rest of the sexy Super Junior member followed their happy way to Roswell. Not so happily left behind was our hero…heroine? Kibum.
Back to the present day:
So all left for him to do was…nothing really. He is now back in korea, on a beautiful Tuesday, September 7th, and all he can do is sleep, the little grumpy child. He couldn’t get over his anger and Jonghyun hasn’t talked to him, nor has he made any effort in trying to bring him back either. Kibum was nothing but tears, breaking down all over the place. Sunday was when he had the fight, and all he could do was shopping around with the native speakers, Jessica, Tffany, Krystal, Amber (how did she get there? Why is she not performing? Is Donghae going to comeback alive?) and Taemin, where they shopped around the streets of Los Angeles. He couldn’t pretend to be to okay for to long, so The Almighty went to the toilet, and never came back…to them that is. All he could do was buy, buy…and buy some more. He was going to buy one or two things for himself, but then guilt built in and he started to buy one thing for each person in SM, including staff…which basically meant, he knew everyone intimately enough to be able to buy something that fit their characters. He came back too late to remember anything at all or to talk to anyone, everyone was back at the hotel at night, sleeping quite nicely and fuzzy, as if NOTHING had happened! HOW COULD HE? Taemin, on the other hand, was not very up there as he’d wish he was. He was all grumpy since Sunday as well, he started the whole thing and acts like the victim? They created a monster.
At the plane back, all he could remember doing was going to the each and every person with their specific perfect presents, and as he handed Jinki his beautiful glasses that fit so well with his sexy underwear, he also handed him Jonghyun’s shirt. A very well addressed shirt, which fit very nicely to Jonghyun’s body and heart, it showcased his nice muscular figure, as well as being fit to pretty much anything, black, with a stylish writing that read: “I want my lover tonight.” Jinki was the one who had to hand it to Jonghyun, since Kibum was now deep asleep in his sleep, more like crying himself under a sleeping mask, and Taemin was also sleeping, he was very closed up these last few days. Only ones left to do the dirty job were Jinki and Minho, but Minho was busy with the whoring activities with Super Junior, so the only one left was Jinki himself. Jonghyun had gotten the gift as Jinki explained it was from Kibum, Jonghyun at first had a disgusted and of course, childish reaction…we could somehow figure out why he didn’t grow, if acting something could make you more similar to it…wait no, he tries to act manly and… no...it’s not a valid theory. Jonghyun, very maturely, turned back to the Shirt once Jinki was gone, and tried it on, feeling rather excited at how good it looked and how it was so tightly and comfortably hugging him, giving him goosebumps, the English in it, though, was more like a scary factor, so he didn’t even try reading it…might explain his 15 years old times…”Too tough to top” it read at that time…the more time passes, the worst it gets.
Back in the house Kibum couldn’t do anything but hate himself. It was all his fault that this game was going down like this, but he couldn’t help it, that name just made him shiver, it just made him want to smack a bitch. He didn’t know how he would react if they ever got to be together at all, so he preferred never to take that as a possibility, no, not his Jonghyun. It took him some time to get through it, didn’t it? It sure did.
After what seemed like forever, but was actually only a week, after doing promotions and acting silly, they resolved to settle all of this down, because it was no use ruining a friendship just because of an article. Still, even though Kibum thought he’d have his Jonghyun back, it wasn’t the same, he was very dreamy lately, he was very much wondering about the article and the worst of all…he was distant, not totally, but gradually. He remembers the first time in May when Jonghyun first saw her in front of him. He does have his contacts and so since he had a lot of freetime considering he isn’t a regular in any shows, he decided to keep in contact with her as often as god heaven’s permitted him. Kibum had been watching and waiting, it was just, well, up and down, like their song…Jonghyun knows how to break his heart, doesn’t he? Of course Jonghyun, as one of Kibum’s best friends and his work partner, he would know about him and about his feelings towards men, however, to the point where it’d be possible for him to notice Kibum’s feelings? Not a chance, Jonghyun was too busy with his own feelings to wonder about fanfictions and how much of truth they could actually be hiding in them, maybe not simultaneously, but gradually, it did share some truths for the members, and for their solitude and neediness. He seemed to be having some kind of friend and talking on the phone quite often though, and it made Kibum curious, but if he did not wish to share, he was not going to intrude and invade his bubble.
Kibum was not stupid, he knew there was something. They already were friends, they knew each other, why would she say she wanted to meet SHINee? She was obviously trying it from the beginning, wasn’t she? He couldn’t hate her…they were so similar. They fit so well, not like him, he was bitchy, he was always nagging, he was not good enough at acting, he wasn’t pretty enough, he wasn’t smart enough, he wasn’t shorter than Jonghyun, he didn’t have boobs, he didn’t have as many curves, he wasn’t a girl, he wasn’t… her. For once it hurt a lot to get through to finding out the reason and the reason was nothing and no one but yourself. He didn’t wish to be her, but he sure wished he didn’t feel anything for Jonghyun right now. He was truly hurt, hurt by society, he had to hide these feelings, but damm, that stupid bastard was going out and getting to know a girl, and now, it was nothing but him by himself. He always hated that people would blame him and say he is a sinner, it was never his fucking choice, NEVER! If he ever wanted to choose love, he would fall for someone who falls for him, he would fall for a girl, it would be much easier, if it’s a choice, why take the painful and harder path? Because it’s more tempting? Because it’s wrong, so you want to try and go against society? What kind of people actually believed in such concept anyways? Not his friends for sure, and no one he should keep by his side and wish well, would think like that, he might be the rude bitch, he might be blunt, however, for him, it was an arrow, everyone and all the people were arches, and he was trying to survive, so he always wore the heaviest, strongest, biggest, with the most spikes and the scariest armor, he didn’t want himself played or hurt anymore. Never, never again, since he felt those ideas overcome him and his feelings for the same gender aroused him, he never once would let himself fall for the bitter and painful traps of the undeveloped world he was forced to live in.
The longer it passed, the more obvious it would be: Jonghyun was happier, he was gigglier, he was more cheery, he was taking every day as if it was his last, because he wanted to live life to the fullest, typical naïve brat in love. Life shall teach him though. Kibum was afraid of starting to let it show, so he always smiled as well, but his eyes couldn’t lie, they didn’t shine anymore, his movements weren’t as loose as before. Lucifer was a burden, and her whisper was poison. Nobody should know of this ever, this is Kibum’s only pain and he will ever share it, it’s his, if he can’t cherish love, he will keep something out of this, no one should go home empty handed.
“Hyung, are you okay? You seemed to be kind of dazzling around and you don’t look too happy.” Taemin was nothing more than a sweetheart, he could be the playful kid, but he knew when to comfort someone and when to stop. “Ah, Taeminah, don’t worry, hyung is always fine, it’s just I’m quite tired lately, we better get together and start our resting time so we can promote our new repackaged, we have like a month until it is officially released, keep working hard, Taeminah.” He only patted his head and went somewhere else, a room shared with Taemin didn’t work for him, so he chose to be quiet and stay in the living room, some TV to distract him. Taemin watched him going away, with sadness in his eyes, he knew there was something more, he could be the magnae, but when it came to love, he knew better than the other 3 how much Kibum hurt every time Jonghyun opened his big mouth. It’s just Kibum had to realize that all of this was just a phase, they spent so much time with each other, and your feelings can get mixed up, but there is not such a thing a couple with 2 guys in the industry, nor is there any type of closer relationship between bandmates. Kibum will fall in love with a nice girl and will have a nice family, and this will end nicely like it ought to be, he just had to settle down, or so Taemin thought.
It was the day of the photoshoot and Kibum couldn’t take his stupid feelings anymore, but he coped with it, he had to smiled, he was paid for that, wasn’t he? Maybe not as much as he’d wish to be paid, but he did get his money. ”Kibumah! Oh my, guess what?”. Oh, so he decided to talk to him. “I was going to tell you earlier but we didn’t get to meet each other yet, but, me…you know…I don’t know how to, well, I’m dating Shin Se Kyung!”. Backstage of the photoshoot in a room, he slapped Jonghyun’s face so hard it made his lips bleed, or so his mind wished he had done that, though instead, all he could truly do was stare. “Hyung, I suspected, but you can’t hide it from the almighty!”. “You are the first and will be the only person I tell this to, please, keep it a secret and pretend like you know nothing.” He hugged his best friend and went back to shooting, whereas Kibum gave him his best smile, remembering the words whispered in the hug. “You will find your girl.” His best friend, everyone thinks it’s an option and it’s a phase and it’s not going to affect his future, but he can’t do anything about it, it was goddamm country and goddamm reality, and he would never escape from it, he will forever be this way…Jonghyun, so handsome, so sexy, so muscular, so cute, so sweet, so caring, so charming, he sings so well, he dances nicely, he is perfect and now he is dating his ideal type? Wow, he must have been an angel in his past life and Kibum probably was the devil who killed the Angel because he was envious of him, now to pay back, he was there, loving the one who he killed, who is now happier than ever and right in front of his face. “Hello, Key-sshi! Ready for your interview with 10Men magazine?”. He was more ready than ever, bang it.
October 27th, 2010
The news came out, finally, the stupid managed to be pictured. “It’s Okay” he said, he said he wanted it come out, idols should be able to date too, they should take life the easy way, it was no different than school, than a job life, it should not! So, all left for Kibum was staring at it, and wondering…why was he born this way? Why is he not a girl? Why is he not into girls as much as he should? He will live, right? No time for despair, right? He hoped it would end up fine, but it never did and it never will, because realist for him, it’s not the same as how his fantasy worked. Poor fans, but he had to be happy, because Jonghyun was happy…Jonghyun was trying to find the girl for himself and wanted Kibum to be able to do as well, so he made himself public, so more idols can date.
“Key? Why are staring in the space?” Jinki had to come? He looked at Key and then at the computer screen, and sighed. He hugged him, he kissed his forehead, and let the boy cry in his arms. If only Jonghyun was that guy right now, if only he could see how much pain he faces everyday and all the time, if only he could live life the right way. “Key, you will survive, it’s not your first time and it won’t be your last, just keep in mind it will be over and you will survive, for now, take care of your career and then, when you are older, you will realize that there is a woman out there for you.” He hugged him one last time, and asked him to leave him alone for a bit, he just needed to breath a bit. Contemplating suicide could be an option, but he just didn’t feel like it, death will only bring his next life more pain, so he had to endure, become strong and live life like he is expected to. For now as a teen, he will kiss boys and girls, he will have fun and he will do whatever, but he knows he will have to go the right path someday, because, maybe, it is a choice, nobody marries for love anyways, only the angels.
Noonas, dongsaengs, hyungs and the rest, I’m sorry, this was actually suppose to be a happy story with a happy ending, but it probably disconnects totally in the middle and I apologize. It was suppose to be Kibum and Jonghyun, it was suppose to be Shin Se Kyung wanting to befriend Kibum, and help JongKey be together, it was supposed to be Key dressed up as a girl to say sorry to Jjong, it was suppose to be a good smut in the end, it was supposed to be true, it was supposed to be Taemin sad because of Minho’s whoring, it was supposed to be 2min, it was supposed to be romance, fluff and not angst, it was supposed to be “I want my boyfriend tonight” in the shirt. It could’ve been so many things, it isn’t so, way to go right? Hope you forgive me for the angst, this shoulda been posted like, on the 5th of September, but hey! God knows better and he stopped me and deleted my fic, and now here I am, when I finally find the strength to re-do it, I get news that change everything. I don’t know how much of a fan of k-pop I can be from now on, I was just lying to myself all along, I honestly don’t like straight guys, and thinking that all these men are straight, saddens and disgusts me, because, I know how they actually look at a woman. I’m sorry about my ranting, it’s just too much for me.
Key should have worn this...