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So, I took a note of every song after the concert and it was lots of fun, and very entertaining, they r better performers than singers and G.NA is so awesome lol


Introduction Video

Long ass back up dancers intro (one of them got bored and looked at the screen lol, all in the dark tho)

4Minute Set
Hot Issue
I My Me Mine
Heart To Heart

Bubble Pop - 현아 (Hyuna) solo
Blo (Ke$ha Cover) - 지윤&가윤 (Jiyoon&Gayoon unit)
Who's Next?/Shuffling, by back up dancers

거울아 거울아

G.NA Set
Black & White
꺼져줄게 잘 살아 (English Version)

Take A Bow/Rude Boy (Rihanna) - she said it was something she came up with a week before the concert
Supa Solo

Top Girl

B2ST Set
숨 (Breath)
Bad Girl

You (dongwoon's voice cracked, i felt sorry for him cuz it was the beginning of the song, all by himself, i know how it feels lol)
Video Break with an accomplishment story (Song played was Fiction Orchestral version)

Trouble Maker - 현승&현아 (Hyunseung & Hyuna)

Lightless (Unplugged)
비가오는날엔 (On Rainy Days)
V.I.U. (Very Important U) .....Not Sure, if anyone wants to correct me.....

Encore Screams, but as schedule:

Fly So High - U-Cube

Should I do a fanaccount? NAHHHHHH
Where in Shibus' land am I now?: My bed
My UP&DOWN for this moment: accomplished
What my iPod wants to say: Supah Solo - G.NA
11 June 2011 @ 02:25 am
So, I took a note of every song after the concert and it was just amazing, no words, i will cry if go on, so i will just put the songs


Introduction Video
LaChaTa - f(x)
Tik Tok - Jessica & Krystal (lip synch)
Chu~♡ (츄~♡) - f(x)

Break Video
Stand By Me - SHINee
Replay - SHINee
Get Down - SHINee
Juliette - SHINee

Break Video
Sorry Sorry Answer - Super Junior K.R.Y.
Poker Face - Heechul (lip synch)
Single Ladies - Shindong Eeteuk Eunhyuk (lip synch)
Crazy In Love - Heechul Shindong Eeteuk Eunhyuk (lip synch)
Way Back Into Love - Seohyun & Kyuhyun
A-Yo (YG FAMILY Cover) - Key, Eunhyuk, Shindong and Minho

Break Video
Run Devil Run - SNSD Girls' Generation 소녀시대
동화 (My Child) - SNSD Girls' Generation 소녀시대
Kissing You - SNSD Girls' Generation 소녀시대
Super Girl - Super Junior
너같은 사람 또 없어 (No Other) - Super Junior
HAHAHA - SNSD Girls' Generation 소녀시대
힘내 (Way To Go) - SNSD Girls' Generation 소녀시대
Miracle - Super Junior
Dancing Out - Super Junior

Break Video
소원을 말해봐 (Genie) - SNSD Girls' Generation 소녀시대
NU ABO - f(x)
Ring Ding Dong - SHINee (lip synch)
돈돈 (Don't Don) - Super Junior
Sorry Sorry - Super Junior

Break Video
Gangsta Boy - f(x) (not sure if it was lip synch)
Hello - SHINee
Ready Or Not - SHINee
A.Mi.Go. - SHINee
훗 (Hoot) - SNSD Girls' Generation 소녀시대
Oh! - SNSD Girls' Generation 소녀시대

Break Video
Nessum Dorma - Onew
Dance Battle - Luna, Eunhyuk, Taemin...and others
The Way You Are/Mirotic - 동방신기 TVXQ! DBSK
Maximum - 동방신기 TVXQ! DBSK
이것만은 알고가 - 동방신기 TVXQ! DBSK
왜 (Keep Your Head Down) - 동방신기 TVXQ! DBSK
미인아 (BONAMANA) - Super Junior
Dance Break
A Man In Love (갈증) - Super Junior

Break Video
피노키오 (Danger) - f(x)
Lucifer - SHINee
Gee - SNSD Girls' Generation 소녀시대
U - Super Junior
Rising Sun (순수) - 동방신기 TVXQ! DBSK (lip synch)
Sorry Sorry Ending - SM Town
빛 (HOPE) - SM Town

Should I do a fanaccount? NAHHHHHH
Where in Shibus' land am I now?: Ibis hotel in Paris
My UP&DOWN for this moment: confusedconfused
What my iPod wants to say: READ THE FUCKING LIST
Anybody else shares this?

So, another rant, I believe 2010 has been the worst year of my life, ever...I will never give myself out to anything anymore, I swear, past 3 years, I fucked myself with singing and dancing, past 2 years, I fucked myself with korean language and culture...FOR WHAT? To have it all taken, bcuz I look at myself and I just find myself pathetic, I find it just a stupid dream? i'm fucking tired of lies, I can't even go through this anymore, I've been dancing, singing and studying...damm, I can't take it anymore, I don't wanna stay at the hostel and do nothing, I don't wanna be at class, I wanna stop these emotions and this emptiness, there is not point in living like this anymore...I want to find a way to stop it....then it comes, I feel inferior, I feel stupid, I feel like I sacrifice myself for nothing, like I won't ever be good enough and what kept me hope and alive were fanfictions, now that fucker had to screw it up and be a fucking straight guy, i'm fucking tired of straight guys being....straight.... They are all the same, they are disgusting, they only see women and their bodies, they are all dirty and close minded, I can't feel happy....so, I remembered watching this short cartoon of a giraffe falling into the quicksand....and there are the tragedy stages, so I googled it

The Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as the five stages of grief, was first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying.
It describes, in 5 discrete stages, a process by which people deal with grief and tragedy, especially when diagnosed with a terminal illness or catastrophic loss. In addition to this, her book brought mainstream awareness to the sensitivity required for better treatment of individuals who are dealing with a fatal disease.

The progression of states is:
Denial – "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of positions and individuals that will be left behind after death.

Anger – "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to blame?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.

Bargaining – "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."

Depression – "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect oneself from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.

Acceptance – "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with his mortality or that of his loved one.

Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to people suffering from terminal illness, later to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This may also include significant life events such as the death of a loved one, divorce, drug addiction, the onset of a disease or chronic illness, an infertility diagnosis, as well many tragedies and disasters.

Kübler-Ross claimed these steps do not necessarily come in the order noted above, nor are all steps experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two. Often, people will experience several stages in a "roller coaster" effect—switching between two or more stages, returning to one or more several times before working through it.
Significantly, people experiencing the stages should not force the process. The grief process is highly personal and should not be rushed, nor lengthened, on the basis of an individual's imposed time frame or opinion. One should merely be aware that the stages will be worked through and the ultimate stage of "Acceptance" will be reached.

However, there are individuals who struggle with death until the end. Some psychologists believe that the harder a person fights death, the more likely he will be to stay in the denial stage. If this is the case, it is possible the ill person will have more difficulty dying in a dignified way. Other psychologists state that not confronting death until the end is adaptive for some people. Those who experience problems working through the stages should consider professional grief counseling or support groups.

well, u get the point, i think...i've been in the despair stage for a while, together with bargaining, anger and denial, now...after the "news" i'm definitely back in the middle between denial and anger...u guys/girls?

here, the giraffe  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBvozWsdu5c

to let people know how bad this really is, i don't feel like watching porn and i'm a guy...FUCK THIS IS REALLY A BIG DEAL! oh and I forgot to list failing the IB in my list of fucking good things for this year

on a happy note, listen to this song, it's in korean, i'm sad not many will get it, but the feeling is kinda easy to get...it's a very good and ...well, woman power song?


To be honest, these are my ideal women...I wish I was a total straight guy, anybody gets the pattern? I'm not sure of it

Meisa Kurorki

Lee JiAh

Cheryl Cole

Kim Isak/Ida Simmons


yeah...I can't even look at any of them without thinking, LIARS... I think...I'm very lonely and it will stay for a while...long long while
Where in Shibus' land am I now?: My bubble
My UP&DOWN for this moment: angryangry
What my iPod wants to say: 돌이킬 수 없는 - 가인
Title: You can Amkey and Keycole, but I can't Jongkyung?
Author: ahmins3
Genre: Crack, Angst
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: One sided Jongkey, Jongkyung
Word Count: 3754 words
Summary: What happens when some great news get to a certain happy JongHyun and a not so happy Kibum.
Disclaimer: What is this? What am I suppose to do? Disclaim something? I mean, duh...of course I don't own them, if I did, I wouldn't be writing a fic, I'd be having fun with my possessions, and even more important....of course this didn't happen...if it did, the world would be a better place. OH, but I kinda do own the plot...excuse me, thank you, I could be killing, stealing or prostituting myself, but instead, I'm here writing, so at least, I take credit for my only possession~
Comments: Well, you guys and girls better be happy with this, because I wrote it once and lost it all, so I, after 5 days, found the strength to write it again. Damm the computer for this! Read my rant in the end, please…

Inspired by this not so lovely article:

"Actress Shin Se Kyung, showed special interest in SHINee.

When asked about which idol group she wants to meet on Entertainment Relay, she answered, “SHINee.”

Like the shy girl she is, she didn’t really expand on why, but who doesn’t want to meet SHINee?

Shin Se Kyung is currently filming a movie with Song Kang Ho and Chun Jung Myung."

And this  http://community.livejournal.com/omonatheydidnt/4566852.html

Songs u might be interested in listening to while reading, I do recommend it:

a playlist for u all, just let it play

It could have started well...but...it didn't. Not when you get news on a perfect vacation of 4 days to the States, a perfect Concert, a perfect gift from a fan in a Toy Story bag given at the Airport and a perfect day after the concert. News about a certain...female whose names has been mentioned quite a few times by that...bandmate and the more it is heard, the more Kibum feels like heads will roll. It's hard for things to be good when that bandmate had the need to talk about her everytime he could and his illusion that muscles and no brain could win her over, noting that he was probably as tall as her, if not shorter. Really, if he didn't talk about her, there would be no problem in their relationship, but, jealousy is an evil player in the game of ...Love? Well, maybe just not yet. Before going on, how about we get back in details to the roots of the problem?

Sunday Morning, September 5th, 2010, L.A.

"HOLY MOLY" The scream was heard throughout the whole hotel room, hallway, and perhaps, even other floors. Whether it was of pleasure, disgust, surprise or pain, nobody really wanted to know, because they didn't want to be seen with that weirdo who was the source of the nice sound, which was a good representation for "Denigrating korean entertainers and population alike overseas? U R doing it rite." Of course our leader decided to step out and be...the leader, because that's how he always introduced himself as, right? It didn't matter that, at home, he was the one picked on or used and he would have to go outside and tell their sunbaes and other colleagues to search for a bit of respect, which at home, wasn't given, not that it was their fault, they were just more exposed to his...real self.

“Jonghyunah, what happened?”. Staring. That’s all he could do, because what he saw was beyond expectations. Jonghyun, if you still could call him that, was on the floor, rolling, having a nervous attack, looking like he was peeing, crying, cumming, pooing, sweating, leaking, all in once, but he was just screaming, really…Jinki likes making things bigger than they are, it’s a habit he got from his little friend down there…big…

“It’s..there, in the computer…look at the screen.” And so he did. “It’s about her?”. So he wasn’t like, being all negative about her or anything, it’s just, duh, of course it was about her, what more could make jjong act like a girl who got her vajayjay touched accidentally by the guy she has a crush on after swinging around during gym class?

She was pretty, hot, sexy, cute, smart, dedicated and a girl worth knowing…or so he heard, of course! “So, this doesn’t really mean she wants to meet you.”. As a matter of fact, jinki stared at him, but he couldn’t really tell what kind of answer would come out of those nostrils…erm, mouth. “Duh, NO! She is into US! Not the girl faces of course, but us, me and you…THE MEN!”

Minho seemed to have vanished from Jonghyun’s mind because at least he doesn’t need to act manly to prove himself manly since it’s freaking natural for him, but it’s Jonghyun, better not contradict him, that’s what the doctor told them. “Hm, but, then…are you even gonna meet her or something? It’s not like, we are gonna see her suddenly.” “Stop thinking so much, hyung…look at the goddess, she will give us the answer…” Now, for Jonghyun to call her a Goddess…Sorry, Gyuri, Jonghyun obviously wouldn’t know what a REAL Goddess is even if she bit his balls with her shiny golden teeth.

Taemin, the little piece of jailbait, oh so dangerous and forbidden…for only one more year, that is, was starting to get nervous and wonder why Mickey and Donald Duck would take so long in the room together…They are obviously good enough to quit and be a duo and get more money, and nobody would want them getting away, right? Minnie, Pluto and Dummie would be hurt…and fucking pissed…

“Hyung, what happened?” He didn’t really want to know, because, if what Onew saw was bad, imagine how Taemin would react when he sees a overly hysteric Jonghyun and a stupid and desperate Jinki who knows this is going to end up…like shit. He just pointed at the screen again, as Taemin approached them slowly, and read through the article. “Her? Again? What’s so special about her? I mean like seriously, she is not that pretty, I admit she is a nice and smart person, but you can’t possibly find her fabulous.” He was about to keep his beautiful description of reality, when Jonghyun had his arm around his shoulder and with his oh-so,-I-know-more-than-you’d-ever-be-able-to,-that’s-why-you-call-me-hyung, smile. “Taemin, Taemin, oh my little and sweet Taemin.” Imagine him saying that while grabbing Taemin’s cheeks with his hand and making him have a fish face. “You are just jealous and it’s ok. You’re clearly not confident about yourself, so you are in denial. And you are right to do that, you stand no chance against the real man of the house.” One word, war.

“UMMA, JONGHYUN IS DOING PORN WITH SHIN SE KYUNG! THE ONE WHO THINKS SHE IS MORE FOXY THAN YOU.” Oh, yes, the sound of the heavy steps against the floor, such a sweet sweet revenge, like the little innocent child loves. “KIM JONGHYUN!”. He was pale for a second, then red the next, then yellow…and then a color not very definable, something in between blue and red, not quite purple, oh…no…it’s just Kibum strangling him. “Stop it Kibum, what’s up? I didn’t even do anything wrong, it was just…”. Ha, as if the almighty would let him finish. “I’ve seen the damm article, what’s your point? What is it about her all the time? We are not back in Korea yet, can’t you relax and just forget her or something. SHE’S NOT THE ONE FOR YOU.”

Jonghyun would take his shit any day of the week, maybe not Wednesday, it’s his day off, but he’d let him talk any other day of the week, but not today! “Why are you always controlling everything?” Taemin saw that as the line for him to leave silently, and have Jinki for himself and Minho for a while, they knew how to treat him right, oh yeah. “You ain’t got a reason to stop me all the freaking time, what is your problem? Why are you so protective? I never ever did anything wrong, I don’t even have any scandals, except for the crazy big boob girl who thinks she knows me…I don’t have any real scandal, like a certain Kibum with his Keycole and Amkey…even Keysica…I do have a Jongsica too, but you got the reasons…I try and try, but you are always the one being all over girls and being all scandalous…and nobody even cares, so you don’t even stop!”. Kibum was speechless, maybe it was because it was the truth, or just because he was shocked…Jonghyun has brain and eyes, and he’s been paying attention. “Jonghyun…what the FUCK? Are you thinking of me as a freaking player? Like, I’d be all over girls and eating them behind your back or something. FUCKING WEAR GLASSES!”

“HEY!” He could go on and he wanted, but someone stopped him. “Guys! It’s like our off day here in the U.S.A., let’s go to Roswell, I heard there are Aliens there…we can find the secret base and get in contact!”. Donghae, had to make his cameo, and totally call the mood off. “Hyung, let’s go, I’d better go off and search for aliens than stay with a monster.” Of course, hyungwhore would follow his hyungs all the way to the underworld if he had the opportunity to, so Jinki carried along and all 4 plus the rest of the sexy Super Junior member followed their happy way to Roswell. Not so happily left behind was our hero…heroine? Kibum.

Back to the present day:

So all left for him to do was…nothing really. He is now back in korea, on a beautiful Tuesday, September 7th, and all he can do is sleep, the little grumpy child. He couldn’t get over his anger and Jonghyun hasn’t talked to him, nor has he made any effort in trying to bring him back either. Kibum was nothing but tears, breaking down all over the place. Sunday was when he had the fight, and all he could do was shopping around with the native speakers, Jessica, Tffany, Krystal, Amber (how did she get there? Why is she not performing? Is Donghae going to comeback alive?) and Taemin, where they shopped around the streets of Los Angeles. He couldn’t pretend to be to okay for to long, so The Almighty went to the toilet, and never came back…to them that is. All he could do was buy, buy…and buy some more. He was going to buy one or two things for himself, but then guilt built in and he started to buy one thing for each person in SM, including staff…which basically meant, he knew everyone intimately enough to be able to buy something that fit their characters. He came back too late to remember anything at all or to talk to anyone, everyone was back at the hotel at night, sleeping quite nicely and fuzzy, as if NOTHING had happened! HOW COULD HE? Taemin, on the other hand, was not very up there as he’d wish he was. He was all grumpy since Sunday as well, he started the whole thing and acts like the victim? They created a monster.

At the plane back, all he could remember doing was going to the each and every person with their specific perfect presents, and as he handed Jinki his beautiful glasses that fit so well with his sexy underwear, he also handed him Jonghyun’s shirt. A very well addressed shirt, which fit very nicely to Jonghyun’s body and heart, it showcased his nice muscular figure, as well as being fit to pretty much anything, black, with a stylish writing that read: “I want my lover tonight.” Jinki was the one who had to hand it to Jonghyun, since Kibum was now deep asleep in his sleep, more like crying himself under a sleeping mask, and Taemin was also sleeping, he was very closed up these last few days. Only ones left to do the dirty job were Jinki and Minho, but Minho was busy with the whoring activities with Super Junior, so the only one left was Jinki himself. Jonghyun had gotten the gift as Jinki explained it was from Kibum, Jonghyun at first had a disgusted and of course, childish reaction…we could somehow figure out why he didn’t grow, if acting something could make you more similar to it…wait no, he tries to act manly and… no...it’s not a valid theory. Jonghyun, very maturely, turned back to the Shirt once Jinki was gone, and tried it on, feeling rather excited at how good it looked and how it was so tightly and comfortably hugging him, giving him goosebumps, the English in it, though, was more like a scary factor, so he didn’t even try reading it…might explain his 15 years old times…”Too tough to top” it read at that time…the more time passes, the worst it gets.

Back in the house Kibum couldn’t do anything but hate himself. It was all his fault that this game was going down like this, but he couldn’t help it, that name just made him shiver, it just made him want to smack a bitch. He didn’t know how he would react if they ever got to be together at all, so he preferred never to take that as a possibility, no, not his Jonghyun. It took him some time to get through it, didn’t it? It sure did.

After what seemed like forever, but was actually only a week, after doing promotions and acting silly, they resolved to settle all of this down, because it was no use ruining a friendship just because of an article. Still, even though Kibum thought he’d have his Jonghyun back, it wasn’t the same, he was very dreamy lately, he was very much wondering about the article and the worst of all…he was distant, not totally, but gradually. He remembers the first time in May when Jonghyun first saw her in front of him. He does have his contacts and so since he had a lot of freetime considering he isn’t a regular in any shows, he decided to keep in contact with her as often as god heaven’s permitted him. Kibum had been watching and waiting, it was just, well, up and down, like their song…Jonghyun knows how to break his heart, doesn’t he? Of course Jonghyun, as one of Kibum’s best friends and his work partner, he would know about him and about his feelings towards men, however, to the point where it’d be possible for him to notice Kibum’s feelings? Not a chance, Jonghyun was too busy with his own feelings to wonder about fanfictions and how much of truth they could actually be hiding in them, maybe not simultaneously, but gradually, it did share some truths for the members, and for their solitude and neediness. He seemed to be having some kind of friend and talking on the phone quite often though, and it made Kibum curious, but if he did not wish to share, he was not going to intrude and invade his bubble.

Kibum was not stupid, he knew there was something. They already were friends, they knew each other, why would she say she wanted to meet SHINee? She was obviously trying it from the beginning, wasn’t she? He couldn’t hate her…they were so similar. They fit so well, not like him, he was bitchy, he was always nagging, he was not good enough at acting, he wasn’t pretty enough, he wasn’t smart enough, he wasn’t shorter than Jonghyun, he didn’t have boobs, he didn’t have as many curves, he wasn’t a girl, he wasn’t… her. For once it hurt a lot to get through to finding out the reason and the reason was nothing and no one but yourself. He didn’t wish to be her, but he sure wished he didn’t feel anything for Jonghyun right now. He was truly hurt, hurt by society, he had to hide these feelings, but damm, that stupid bastard was going out and getting to know a girl, and now, it was nothing but him by himself. He always hated that people would blame him and say he is a sinner, it was never his fucking choice, NEVER! If he ever wanted to choose love, he would fall for someone who falls for him, he would fall for a girl, it would be much easier, if it’s a choice, why take the painful and harder path? Because it’s more tempting? Because it’s wrong, so you want to try and go against society? What kind of people actually believed in such concept anyways? Not his friends for sure, and no one he should keep by his side and wish well, would think like that, he might be the rude bitch, he might be blunt, however, for him, it was an arrow, everyone and all the people were arches, and he was trying to survive, so he always wore the heaviest, strongest, biggest, with the most spikes and the scariest armor, he didn’t want himself played or hurt anymore. Never, never again, since he felt those ideas overcome him and his feelings for the same gender aroused him, he never once would let himself fall for the bitter and painful traps of the undeveloped world he was forced to live in.

The longer it passed, the more obvious it would be: Jonghyun was happier, he was gigglier, he was more cheery, he was taking every day as if it was his last, because he wanted to live life to the fullest, typical naïve brat in love. Life shall teach him though. Kibum was afraid of starting to let it show, so he always smiled as well, but his eyes couldn’t lie, they didn’t shine anymore, his movements weren’t as loose as before. Lucifer was a burden, and her whisper was poison. Nobody should know of this ever, this is Kibum’s only pain and he will ever share it, it’s his, if he can’t cherish love, he will keep something out of this, no one should go home empty handed.

“Hyung, are you okay? You seemed to be kind of dazzling around and you don’t look too happy.” Taemin was nothing more than a sweetheart, he could be the playful kid, but he knew when to comfort someone and when to stop. “Ah, Taeminah, don’t worry, hyung is always fine, it’s just I’m quite tired lately, we better get together and start our resting time so we can promote our new repackaged, we have like a month until it is officially released, keep working hard, Taeminah.” He only patted his head and went somewhere else, a room shared with Taemin didn’t work for him, so he chose to be quiet and stay in the living room, some TV to distract him. Taemin watched him going away, with sadness in his eyes, he knew there was something more, he could be the magnae, but when it came to love, he knew better than the other 3 how much Kibum hurt every time Jonghyun opened his big mouth. It’s just Kibum had to realize that all of this was just a phase, they spent so much time with each other, and your feelings can get mixed up, but there is not such a thing a couple with 2 guys in the industry, nor is there any type of closer relationship between bandmates. Kibum will fall in love with a nice girl and will have a nice family, and this will end nicely like it ought to be, he just had to settle down, or so Taemin thought.

It was the day of the photoshoot and Kibum couldn’t take his stupid feelings anymore, but he coped with it, he had to smiled, he was paid for that, wasn’t he? Maybe not as much as he’d wish to be paid, but he did get his money. ”Kibumah! Oh my, guess what?”. Oh, so he decided to talk to him. “I was going to tell you earlier but we didn’t get to meet each other yet, but, me…you know…I don’t know how to, well, I’m dating Shin Se Kyung!”. Backstage of the photoshoot in a room, he slapped Jonghyun’s face so hard it made his lips bleed, or so his mind wished he had done that, though instead, all he could truly do was stare. “Hyung, I suspected, but you can’t hide it from the almighty!”. “You are the first and will be the only person I tell this to, please, keep it a secret and pretend like you know nothing.” He hugged his best friend and went back to shooting, whereas Kibum gave him his best smile, remembering the words whispered in the hug. “You will find your girl.” His best friend, everyone thinks it’s an option and it’s a phase and it’s not going to affect his future, but he can’t do anything about it, it was goddamm country and goddamm reality, and he would never escape from it, he will forever be this way…Jonghyun, so handsome, so sexy, so muscular, so cute, so sweet, so caring, so charming, he sings so well, he dances nicely, he is perfect and now he is dating his ideal type? Wow, he must have been an angel in his past life and Kibum probably was the devil who killed the Angel because he was envious of him, now to pay back, he was there, loving the one who he killed, who is now happier than ever and right in front of his face. “Hello, Key-sshi! Ready for your interview with 10Men magazine?”. He was more ready than ever, bang it.

October 27th, 2010

The news came out, finally, the stupid managed to be pictured. “It’s Okay” he said, he said he wanted it come out, idols should be able to date too, they should take life the easy way, it was no different than school, than a job life, it should not! So, all left for Kibum was staring at it, and wondering…why was he born this way? Why is he not a girl? Why is he not into girls as much as he should? He will live, right? No time for despair, right? He hoped it would end up fine, but it never did and it never will, because realist for him, it’s not the same as how his fantasy worked. Poor fans, but he had to be happy, because Jonghyun was happy…Jonghyun was trying to find the girl for himself and wanted Kibum to be able to do as well, so he made himself public, so more idols can date.

“Key? Why are staring in the space?” Jinki had to come? He looked at Key and then at the computer screen, and sighed. He hugged him, he kissed his forehead, and let the boy cry in his arms. If only Jonghyun was that guy right now, if only he could see how much pain he faces everyday and all the time, if only he could live life the right way. “Key, you will survive, it’s not your first time and it won’t be your last, just keep in mind it will be over and you will survive, for now, take care of your career and then, when you are older, you will realize that there is a woman out there for you.” He hugged him one last time, and asked him to leave him alone for a bit, he just needed to breath a bit. Contemplating suicide could be an option, but he just didn’t feel like it, death will only bring his next life more pain, so he had to endure, become strong and live life like he is expected to. For now as a teen, he will kiss boys and girls, he will have fun and he will do whatever, but he knows he will have to go the right path someday, because, maybe, it is a choice, nobody marries for love anyways, only the angels.


Noonas, dongsaengs, hyungs and the rest, I’m sorry, this was actually suppose to be a happy story with a happy ending, but it probably disconnects totally in the middle and I apologize. It was suppose to be Kibum and Jonghyun, it was suppose to be Shin Se Kyung wanting to befriend Kibum, and help JongKey be together, it was supposed to be Key dressed up as a girl to say sorry to Jjong, it was suppose to be a good smut in the end, it was supposed to be true, it was supposed to be Taemin sad because of Minho’s whoring, it was supposed to be 2min, it was supposed to be romance, fluff and not angst, it was supposed to be “I want my boyfriend tonight” in the shirt. It could’ve been so many things, it isn’t so, way to go right? Hope you forgive me for the angst, this shoulda been posted like, on the 5th of September, but hey! God knows better and he stopped me and deleted my fic, and now here I am, when I finally find the strength to re-do it, I get news that change everything. I don’t know how much of a fan of k-pop I can be from now on, I was just lying to myself all along, I honestly don’t like straight guys, and thinking that all these men are straight, saddens and disgusts me, because, I know how they actually look at a woman. I’m sorry about my ranting, it’s just too much for me.

Key should have worn this...

Where in Shibus' land am I now?: everywhere
My UP&DOWN for this moment: depresseddepressed
What my iPod wants to say: She - Yuna Ito, One - 이삭N지연
21 August 2010 @ 07:27 pm
Title: Mr. Jonghyun Gay Kim
Author: ahmins3 
Genre: Crack, Romance, Fluff 
Rating: PG
Pairing: main!JongKey, side!On2Min, hinted!ChEw (ChickenxOnew, cuz Onew is a bottom for chicken), Ninja!HenHae (lol)
Word Count: 2745
Summary: What happens when you can't help but be tagged as gay, because your tag literally says Mr. Gay!?
Disclaimer: What is this? What am I suppose to do? Disclaim something? I mean, duh...of course I don't own them, if I did, I wouldn't be writing a fic, I'd be having fun with my possessions, and even more important....of course this didn't happen...if it did, the world would be a better place. OH, but I kinda do own the plot...excuse me, thank you, I could be killing, stealing or prostituting myself, but instead, I'm here writing, so at least, I take credit for my only possession~ 
Comments: Inspired by this lovely article:

and this lovely gif:

It was hard. He knew it, it was written all over him. Or maybe it wasn't exactly written over him, but it sure was written on all documents about him. Some say you are not born gay, that you choose it along your life, some other say it happens before and you are born that way; this guy's case was no other but reality, he was born gay. Actually, it started out as a joke from school and from other friends, he was made fun of a thousand times because of his uncommon last name and he felt it was just a joke, never giving much thought to it. It hurt though, because deep down he knew he had that last name for a reason: He was supposed to be a missionary and help out the gay community, he was supposed to be something great. He was Jonghyun Gay Kim, literally and not.

Where did the name come from, you wonder? It was more or less, the fact that his mother married a mixed korean. One of the oldest mixed koreans out there, who was mostly korean, but had a tiny bit of the american descent. Amazingly, all were males, so the last name passed on. It started out as Gaylord, but then as time went by and they were in korea, it seemed too long. What they really wanted to say was, Gay Lord is bad, it's like he is some kind of evil demon trying to conquer the world. It was then abbreviated to...Gaye. Of course in korea, the spelling didn't matter, what mattered was the phonetics. So it ended up as sounding like...Gay.

He had a very, troublesome childhood. He was merely a 16th american and the rest was of korean descent. He didn't really have a very gay behavior and it's not like anyone really knew the meaning of the word Gay. He asked his mother and she said it meant happy, which was a truth, but only half correct. Jonghyun then found out as he entered his teens that Gay...was an unpronounceable word, and it was rather a sin to say it. Damm the thoughts of a stupid society all over the world where children and boys were afraid to tell their parents about their sexuality and where being gay meant bullying and discrimination; people hated you for the fact you loved. So he was, for sometime, a joke. He got through it, just like the fat boy, or the one with glasses, or the one with lots of pimples. He wasn't exactly bullied physically, he was just made fun of. He never admitted to anyone but his close friends and his understanding parents that he was indeed what people called him, gay.

Very surprisingly, his parents were happy to know that since they had expected it, for the way he looked at boys and the way he never ever mentioned a girl's name. He was sorry and ashamed, but his father's family background and his mother's opened mind helped him. They both had tough lives and families and seemed to be more alternative and wanted nothing more than for Jonghyun to be happy. His friends only laughed, because they could then contently touch each other in front of him now, with no fears of losing a friend or disturbing his mind. Jinki, Minho and Taemin weren't exactly the same. Taemin found out only when he first had to have a sleepover at Minho's house and needed to touch that Oh-so toned body, whereas Minho....he was straight until Taemin slept at his house and they "accidentally" bathed together, now he says he is bi. Jinki was first classified as asexual...then later, chicken-sexual, though he felt it didn't fill all his sexual needs as much as it could. Now he was happy to say he watched gay porn and enjoyed it, having fantasies with guys. 2Min tried watching it together with him to help him realize his own feelings, which ended in 3 boys in a bed with no clothes. Jinki still insists that being with them isn't pedophilia and he is just trying to teach them "techniques", which was impossible because he was clearly the one learning from them.

Jonghyun didn't like it though, he was still in the denial stage, because he didn't find out through falling in love, he found out simply because he looked at guys and he could feel a bit of touchy instincts, or simply because he felt nice when they all wrestled for the remote and he could touch them for free, or maybe it was just that going as far as having a girl sitting on his lap already gave him goosebumps and feelings of vomiting. He did consider asexuality, but, he did masturbate the day his friends told him about their threesome night, later of course, and he did like it when Jinki grabbed his length instead of the remote, one other day; therefore he was no asexual whatsoever.


Jonghyun now was nothing more than a man, with a job, friends and a family who loved him. He worked as an employee of KoreanAirlines. He was in the sector where he could try and guess who the people on the line were from before they could approach them with their passports and he would either cheer with joy because he was getting better or stare in shock as people handled him passports from god knows where.

He was on for a special prize though. He was going to visit his lovely grandmother in the U.S.A. because she was still there eve though her son was in korea. He got a free flight offer from the company, what a joy. He was first to have all the passengers checked in and then check himself in. It was then that, someone came. He was, beautiful as many would describe, but Jonghyun preferred the word fantabulously born as a children of the gods, which again, wasn't a single word, because no single words, or phrases, or terms, or idioms, or books, or bibles, or whales' singing (which was reported to have more "words" than the bible) could come up with description to the feelings he had when he laid his eyes on that beauty. Walking with a hat on, dark hair, bits of the colors he couldn't quite make out, a white shirt, a blue jacket, somewhat tight black pants and earrings; 2 on his right year, one on his left. He looked like a fashion god, which the greeks probably forgot to recognize during the times when Athena was the knowledge and war, and Zeus still cheated on Hera with human women, because he wasn't very greek looking.

His game wasn't hard to win, such a beauty could only belong to a race, Korean. He came by and gave him his passport and boarding card for check, with a cute smile, which was a very different feeling than the diva-like idea he got earlier, it was innocent and it was fresh. He read his name Kim Kibum and secretly wished his Kim was meant to be because they both didn't need marriage, they were born to be together. Overwhelmed with fascination, he took a while reading his passport, or more like registering his picture for him to remember forever, until he noticed him asking about baggage.

"I, um. Would like to check in my baggage before I miss my flight." Boy, his voice was so different from any other voice out there, so unique and soft, because he talked as softly as an angel. "Sorry! I was just checking everything mister. Very big bag for someone so small, any lucky woman left overseas waiting for you?" This was the best he could come up with to break the ice, though it was as stupid as the fact he couldn't help his stupid grin and flirty eyes, but it seemed to work as Kibum seemed to blush slightly. "It's just my stuff for designing and clothing, I'm having an opportunity to expand my skills as my company provided a flight for me to get to know more about the world's fashion." He could only be a fashionista, for the way he dressed and behaved. After finishing quickly, so that he could stare at his face as soon as possible, he handed Kibum his documents. "Well, then, see you in the airplane, mr. Kim." Kibum was a bit confused at what he meant, as he was about to reply and read the tag 'Mr. Gay Kim', he stopped for a second. "It's Jonghyun for you, it's a funny story, hope I can tell you later." As he winked, Kibum only smiled and left while blushing and grinning, whereas our hero Jonghyun had triumph in his, but then disappointment as another of those brazilian chicks who had too much breast, too much ass, too much thighs and too many female hormones approached him expecting the same treatment...ha, as if he'd dare to touch a finger on her DNA or breath the air she breaths. He exited and gave passage for his, oh so desperate colleague Heechul, how there was someone who knew how to treat a lady like her, he thought as she sighed in displease.


He headed towards his plane, after checking in and buying a few snacks for the long 12 hour...scratch, 24 hour flight. He handed in his ticket and went in for the flight. As he went forward, faked a smile back at the lady's fake smile, though he felt as he looked at her, that she was going to be important to him in some way very soon, little did he know just how important she'd be. He made his way to his assigned sit, and as he went, he could only back away slightly at the sight. His God on earth, Kibum was silent asleep at the sit he was supposed to be sitting, destiny he wanted to think. Just how funny it was for him to stare in pure delight, shortly though, because he was being the cause for other passengers to be angry at him for stopping the line. He, then, chose to sit at another sit nearby to not cause a fight, to not awake a beauty, and most importantly, to not lose sight of his beauty.

He waited patiently for the flight to set and thought of ways in which he could approach the perfect Apollo that was right there so close, having 24 hours to "accidentally" bump into him, or even, bump into right there, inside the cubicle of the airplane, which they tried to call a toilet...which it really wasn't. His problem was, even though the beauty seemed flattered by his rather amateur flirting skills, he couldn't reassure his doubt of wether the oh so beautiful and probably flexible in bed, Kibum, was into guys, or him for that matter.

His thoughts were then interrupted when he noticed that the flight was late and there was no reason given. He notice a few people moving out and standing up and some other people sitting at their seats. A lady, the same as before, the fake smile, came with signature fake smile and slowly but tentatively approached God, wait, no, Kibum, that's his name. "Excuse sir." He awoke at the soft touch on his shoulder and looked at her with a look that screamed 'What did I do?'. "Are you gay?" He stared at her with a new face, Jonghyun couldn't quite make out, but it was something in between shock, embarrassment, anger and sadness. He shyly nodded, which made Jonghyun fall a little bit deeper in love. "Then, you have to get off the plane, please."

Jonghyun noticed the confusion and attentively tried to clear it up, he knew situations like these. "Wait, no." Kibum was about to pack his stuff when he looked back and saw Jonghyun ready to talk to the lady, a mix of love, gratitude and confusion was clear in his on so seductive full of sparkles, eyes. "You've got the wrong man, I'm Gay." Then it hit him, Jonghyun's last name was the cause of this confusion. Before Jonghyun could continue, at the back of the Airplane a rather handsome male of obvious korean descent, Jonghyun could catch that, very handsome and delicate face, around his height, maybe 2 cm taller, sitting beside a Chinese looking male, both older than Jonghyun, though they were on the range of maximum 4 years older than him, screamed. "Hell no, not anymore. We're gay too, you can't kick us out like that." (Ninja HenHae/HenryxDonghae!)

Jonghyun watched as what seemed to be simple turn into a chaos with people screaming on all sides, some saying Gays shouldn't exist, but they did pay for the ticket, others who seemed to be leaders of gay communities, females and males, screaming and yelling for the rights of them as humans. The problem kept going on as it was stopped by the pilot who spoke through the microphone, finally, and explained that some passengers would have to leave because of the problems faced by an another plane and had to have passengers who had a fair paid ticket in other planes. Jonghyun could only stare back at Kibum and then yell. "I meant that my LAST NAME IS GAY. MR. GAY!" This caused all the guys coming out of the closet, be it to their best friend, possible future lover, or possible next enemy as their current girlfriends wouldn't be too happy with the news, to sit back in embarrassment. As he exited he gave Kibum a last glance and a half smile.


As Jonghyun waited for his next flight to U.S.A. he could only wonder how he missed the chance of his life, for his stupid last name and that fake smile lady, which really weren't the reasons, because it was just a malfunction of another plane. His beauty is now on his way to U.S.A. and he will never see his beauty again. He sighed as he was called back to the new flight. He went in and didn't even try to fake a smile, he couldn't himself up to that. He was crushed.

He sat at his assigned seat, sighed and closed his eyes. He was at the window seat, sad, as he felt a weight down at the seat on his side, though he didn't care to look. "It seems we can't get enough of each other, Mr. Gay Kim." Jonghyun didn't even open his eyes, he was too shocked, he could only hold in his breath as the voice danced inside his head. He finally gathered up enough courage after maybe a minute of dead silence, except for the sounds of moving bags and fat people, because compared his angel, everyone was fat. 

He opened his eyes and smiled at the beautiful face in front of him, almost jumping on him. "Good to see you again Kibum." He tried to sound cool, though his voice was a third higher than it should which screamed happiness. Kibum's sweet smile because a naughty grin as he continued. "Thought you were dead. Maybe now you could tell me what this name's history is, no?". His smile was more than inviting. They had 24 hours, full hours to get to know each other, to lie on each other, to get closer and closer, to be silly and most importantly, to exchange information and phone numbers. "I can talk about anything you'd want."

Kibum's naughty grin suddenly turned into a sad smile. "So, your last name is gay, but it doesn't m-". He stopped in his tracks and had his naughty grin back with a slight tint red of blush on his cheeks as Jonghyun's pervert hand made his way tracing the boy's thigh. "Well, you will have to listen to my story, to find out, impatient angel." Kibum slapped his shoulder out of embarrassment, but then laid his head on Jonghyun's shoulder as he smiled and whispered softly with his angelic voice. "Tell me all you want, Jjong, all you want me to know about you, all we need to know about each other." Boy, he was an angel, god, or something around that area, because he felt so light, soft and perfect like that. They had all the future to share their lives, however way it may be.


A/N: OMFG, MY SECOND FIC....JUST BCOS U GUYS MADE ME....or because that article screamed, WRITE ME, TAKE ME...I'M NOT YOUR BABY, FERNANDO!....ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ oh yeah....lol...so...hope you girls. guys, noonas, dongsaengs, hyungs (do I have any?..NO?...ㅠㅠ..I knew it)....and whoever...Ajummas and Ajuhsshis who read this...I hope you enjoyed...For some reason, I feel like it didn't come out quite as good as I wanted it to, but it's nice enough, it's sweet...and...I dunno, I wish it was longer, but I couldn't come up with anything longer...ㅠㅠ....

Where in Shibus' land am I now?: In the car, ready to take a TOEFL test...
My UP&DOWN for this moment: accomplished
What my iPod wants to say: ANGELUS - 이삭, Alejandro - Lady Gaga
GUYS, GIRLS, NOONAS AND DONGSAENGS!...this article is awesome

i'm gonna write a fanfiction on this...then a fanfiction about jjong wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle and then an OT5 smut.....
Where in Shibus' land am I now?: in my room, thinking what I'v done wrong
My UP&DOWN for this moment: sillysilly
What my iPod wants to say: 똑똑똑 - Super Junior
16 August 2010 @ 03:10 pm
 So like...I decided to cheat and use LJ to promote my singing...LOL.....here it comes a video of me singing Alicia Keys' No one...with Jongkey pictures...cheating x2!~...ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Enjoy and love me please!

Where in Shibus' land am I now?: my bed...with taemin..jk.i wish
My UP&DOWN for this moment: apatheticapathetic
What my iPod wants to say: Guess?...ㅋㅋㅋ
16 August 2010 @ 03:08 pm
 So like...I decided to cheat and use LJ to promote my singing...LOL.....here it comes a video of me singing Alicia Keys' No one...with Jongkey pictures...cheating x2!~...ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Enjoy and love me please!

Where in Shibus' land am I now?: my bed...with taemin..jk.i wish
My UP&DOWN for this moment: apatheticapathetic
What my iPod wants to say: Guess?...ㅋㅋㅋ
12 August 2010 @ 04:24 am
 First of all...OMG....Look, I thank...my dear [info]reallystorygirl for being awesome and designing this new layout and helping me out putting it up...despite me not knowing much here...ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ THANKS SO MUCH

Next, a meme from
[info]j_hatake  passed on to me by [info]wykedpanda. If you want me to pass the meme onto you, type LUCIFER in the subject box. ^ ^ (Which you shouldn't bcos I SUCK at asking interesting questions...). And now:

1. Which SHINee member seems like he would be the most jealous of the others?

Well, boys and girls...mostly girls....if not all....I think....Taemin is jealous of...Minho's manly figure...as well as Jjong bcos, he tries...AND TRIES...but no, he fails, and he wants to hear it so badly, but still, Minho is the manly guy whereas Jjong is the main vocal...or the "manly sexiness"...but then again, what Keybum says doesn't count....So probably Keybum is jealous of Taemin for being called pretty all the time. Onew must be jealous of nobody...really...I dun think that guy would be like that. Minho is jealous of...everyone generally, bcos the poor boy barely gets to sing...ㅠㅠ....but yeah..

Now! The most jealous bitch is...JongHyun...Who isn't part of a sitcom, who isn't in a TV Show regular cast, who isn't out there with Musicals, who isn't recognized as the most manly of SHINee...who is sexually frustrated bcos Taemin gets more sex than him, bcos Keybum's mood is UP&DOWN...but at least...he gets to songwrite...right?....I'm joking...to be honest, I think they might feel a bit jealous sometimes, but it's never sth big, bcos they got kind hearts...

2. What are some accessories you've been wearing lately?

Ha....most random question ever....So you guys know that hair...bandana thing keybum was wearing prior to the Comeback, to hide his hair?...Along with a hat on top...Since I'm not coming out of my house lately, I'm not wearing my necklace, earring or normal accessories, so I made my mom buy that, and I wear the bandana very often at home...ㅋㅋㅋ <s>along with facial mask</s>...but yeah, I do get to not show my hear like him, and my mom made me buy other 2 reserve ones, bcos the other one is getting "dirty"...><

3. What pairing do you think each SHINee member (if a fangirl/fanguy) would stan over the most? lol/
what pairing do you think each SHINee member would ship...within the SHINee pairings

Yeah, so...I think...Jongkey is like...Jongkey fan...ㅋㅋㅋ totally!...If they were forced to choose, I think Jjong would choose Jongkey cuz he is been trying to get Key to say those 3 magic words so often lately...I mean, Keybum is obviously the gay one and Jjong is the one trying to get with him....

And Keybum would probably say Onkey to piss him off...or maybe Minkey bcos they are same age friend and yeah, bcos he is manly..(yes, jjong still isn't manly enough)... or even worse, according to his SHINee ideal type, he'd say 2Key, cuz he is that awesome

Taemin would say...good question, let's jump to Minho...Minho would say...2min bcos he fucking loves his little magnae...and bcos he is too manly for jjong...ㅋㅋㅋ...or maybe bcos he already said that it depends...he would say...it depends on the day...ㅋㅋㅋ but mostly, 2min...bcos he ain't bottoming for jjong....maybe even Onho...onew can bottom.. ㅋㅋㅋ

Now...Now...Onew would first be scandalized by the question, but then shyly answer Ontae...bcos he is secretly in love with a little underaged boy....he plays around too much with keybum and jjong...he would probably be boring and say Jongyu/Onhyun...not key, cuz he'd be scared...ㅋㅋㅋ

and Taemin would say 2min, as in referring to Taemin x2....ㅋㅋㅋ LOL....of course not....He would say...all....bcos...he is that much of an angel, but at night he would dream of each and every member and choose 2min at last...bcos of Minho's manly...abs...happy trail...arms..and god knows what else

Taem - 2min
JJong - Jongkey
Keybum - 2key
Jinki - Ontae
Minho - All...cuz he is that hot..ㅋㅋㅋ

4. Name an animal that would associate the best with each SHINee member.

Ahahaha....should I say why? Do I even need to say why? Like it isn't obvious..but it's tough
Jjong - puppy...bcos of his eyes...but then a werewolf when he is horny, cuz the guy is hot...ㅋㅋㅋ..shirtless that is..
Jinki - a bird....like...a bird that has a sweet voice, so not a raven, but a funny nose?..ㅋㅋㅋ
Keybum - a White Tiger...cuz cat is overrated for him, and tiger too normal...he wants to be like a majesty of sexiness...
Taem - a fox, just bcos of his hair, and bcos he is secretly a nine tailed fox...구미호..ㅋㅋㅋ...no but really, i'm the fox here...so he should be...sth skinny..and pretty...can only think of fox...
Min - sth manly...dark...sexy....strong...not a gorilla...he is more handsome than that....An Eagle...bcos of his Concept photo...ㅋㅋㅋ...

5. What's a good fic you've read lately?

God...I've read 4 fics that are fantastic

Just remembering this one, makes me wanna cry...Airplanes in The Night Sky:

another one that made me cry..also 2 parts...The Keeper of the Keys:

Then, other 2 are...well...one is...just basically actually...2 authors who are so good at writing...found in this community:
http://community.livejournal.com/chagrinning changrinning..

and this awesome writer who writes beautifully without the need of smut:
salted_taiyaki who is in charge of http://community.livejournal.com/openpockets

oh and mumuja's coco puffs is really good too...ok, i always favor the long ones:

YEYE....done!...ㅋㅋㅋ...not the way u expected right?

Peace out to my lovers, haters and masturbators....PIECE!....this was not plagiarism of shimmycocopuffs on youtube..at all..ㅋㅋ
Where in Shibus' land am I now?: My bed....dangerously...
My UP&DOWN for this moment: bouncybouncy
What my iPod wants to say: Keep Forgeting (To Forget About You) - JoJo
07 August 2010 @ 04:01 pm
 No Guys...girls...noonas, dongsaengs....y'all.....I srly do dream about him...

so like, the first time, I dreamt of him...like last week....and it was, him with the Ring Ding Dong mushroom hair and me having a fun interaction between friends, like the normal thing, he seats on me....but I was turned on in the dream, and how weird is that?...and he seemed to know, so that little bitch was teasing me

but now, the scariest part....I can't quite recall, but last night, I had a dream....Does anybody know True Calling or Ghost Whisperer?...Well, it was kinda like that, I see a ghost...everything gets weird, and it won't turn back to normal if I don't do everything, which means, even if the ghost is gone..if there was still sth undone, things wouldn't come back to normal...now Don't ask me what normal is, cuz I can't remember...

Okay so there was a snake later on, but that's not important....

Well, the creepy part is, taemin is something in between a bad guy and a killer, with his Lucifer era haircut, I hate not remembering details of dreams...but something I remember clearly, is something about having to go back to my family and/or the people of the place I was at, city?....and catching taemin...for some reason..I raped him with my and his clothes on, like totally dressed, but it was rape....I bet, even though he was resisting, that he liked it...and then I caught him....so it's not rape of he likes it...

now...I don't remember what the sense of this was, when it started, I know it started in a way that made sense, and I know it finished in a way that made sense and there were many details, but I can only remember the things I've mentioned, maybe because a creepy snake and me raping someone shocks me?....Or excites me?....

yeah, pretty much it....thank you all for reading..ㅋㅋㅋ

someone teach me how to make my journal have a cool layout?...ㅋㅋㅋ

Bonus Picture of Taemin:

Where in Shibus' land am I now?: In my room, thinking what I'v done wrong
My UP&DOWN for this moment: angryangry
What my iPod wants to say: 사랑은 맛있다 ♡ - 휘성